Every light on in the city.

Rooster calls right as we are hanging up I call him right back, it has been a year I am thinking since we spoke even as he’s shout scratchthroat talking at me and I am laughy in my body before we even get full conversation out, it has been even longer since me and him and his brother and our other mother brother ran into each other first time 3 decades later, day of holiday weekend hurricane waves when we at random total sea drunk found one another out there among the swellblack sea backs and high peaks that day. This was back a few Septembers at this point, and for real that was the first time we’d all been in the sea together since by my guess, we were 17, 18? Babies, baby faces, how we remember the other no doubt. I got this fabulous pic of them that day, it was also the weekend baby asked me to be his girlfriend too, I tell Rooster this tonight and he howls with laughter about us going steady and I think about baby telling a story when we first started talking that started with one of the times I got arrested with Rooster and in truth, it is this I love about us, our stories and finding the relief, the rectifying laughter together over how good it was, fun back then.

They were good times. In the meantime I listen to Dr. Dog am brought back to summer of 2017, my hiatus staycation of ten days spent hohme in Baltimore the pink sky twilight balm into every light on in the city nights, and how in the middle of those 10 days, Catfish took me to Mexico. Which besides that time Philly Boy sent me and Bran the hundo when we were living out of food pantry stashes on the mid-Oregon Coast, was the very nicest and biggest wowing gesture a friend has ever, ever done for me. Also the time Erika paid for me to be in that writing workshop in Newport Beach. I scared those people. Anyway in Mexico we got a back alley car rental there and found the side alley taco joints, easy chatted with the guys pushing mota and it was all in flow and music was with us as often it is the rhythm that moves us when we’re concrete bound as we are together in step to the step step syncobeat step and I don’t write this to sound flippant and like we had the kind of bravado to travel recklessly as gringos in dark alleys in Mexico, only that the flow was on our side, the road magic, Narnia rooted, Narnia ground. And you know as the flow goes you go. All this on my mind bc we took the car out to the pyramid remnants in the Yucatan jungle and did lil rituals, which all came back to me seeing Cat in Cap City weekend before last. When he pulled out the soul fam offering blend I gave him during Cabin time, which made me, dancing there to the good soul played by bad karoake sing along guy on the corner at the food trucks on the Mall, feel really held. He threw those offerings out on the Mall. It put me, as always with him, back into our circles of knowing each other, knowing our selves.

Anyway I can’t help it this Timing I’m feeling on the moon, for sure the result of Cabin Time, result of good earth magic the Timing we live out in love and thereby, draw down. Running into the boys the same day me and baby make it official. These reconnections of 20 and 30 years later meant to come. The circles closing, the circles holding. It makes me trust where I’m at and especially, encourages a lot my ability to trust wherever it is we are about to head.

Meantime I say prayers for black bodies everywhere, I send Cat a check in and think without saying it to him, and if you feel like turning back, I got the shotgun at your back. I want us to get our hands on Welcome to America and just sit and listen to it all the way through, like we used to back when I lived in Easton and we’d play old cassettes from the 90’s all night. I have prayers but too my life is one big long one, little beads of days threaded together like this writing here you know? Word by word by word.

catfish n me, mexico july 2017

His music is here.

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