And it is here: heart of summer, hearth of soul.
I am ovulating, or pre-ovulation, which as a woman I know means I am at the height of my vitality. I am sparkling, vivacious, full of energy and ideas and intuitive, big-eyed ideas that seem to naturally connect like a live line of fire sizzling through me. My body, my very being is readying to give life, and as I enter ovulation my whole being reflects this aspect of me. What is ripe in me, of me, prepares itself…these energies are real and whole with or without making an actual child. My being offers forward to the world the most fertile forms of me still yet to be.
Because I work consciously with these energies in me, in a way that has been explorative and mindful of the women’s work for many years now–I understand that there is no separating out the parts of me that are blind, repressed, or numb to this knowledge. That in fact, right along side the ovulation-power within me comes too the social, familial, and ancestral programs of my Psyche, the stories that tell me this true, authentic power and feminine strength is poison, bad, wrong. Such an important part of the women’s work is being mindful of these stories or tapes in my head, how and where they play in my body, and how I shut down or close my eyes to them. Meeting these shadows with love, gentleness, and true compassion for my self is such a deep and important part of my work.
This week also brings us to what I will call Full Growth moon. This is my name for the cycle that comes after Summer Solstice. Honoring the cyclical way in which our bodies, as women, follow the tide and chart of the larger ecological systems from which we come, and to which we will return grounds us in wisdom: rather than dominion over Nature, spiritual, psychological, and even scientific traditions teach that we as humans actually share an exact reflection of life’s larger, ecologically natural nature. When we enlarge our way of being and seeing to encompass this wider understanding, symbolism can inform us and help make real the wisdom work of our soul’s path.
So it is that we consider–the first moon cycle of summer makes its way towards full this weekend. Full Growth moon cycle–if we have been mindful of our cycles we know well what we are growing, and have worked to be in flux with the natural forward flowing, regressing ebbing of the tides of life. The moon is a symbol of our soul, for which our psyche is the vehicle of communication. Psyche speaks in voices, the many voices of which our Ego is only one. It also speaks in images–those mind pictures you see vividly, suddenly, OR an artistic image that stops your tracks out in the world. This might be in the form of a commercial which speaks to you, a line from a song that wont leave you. Maybe a tree or bird that grabs your attention on the way home from work.
This week, as the Full Growth moon shines brighter and brighter, all around we actually see this pure and potent physical growth in the natural world. The images are strong! What images come forth from you, your soul right now under this clear light? What images in the world around you are really alive and personal for you? If, like me, your are entering your pre and ovulation phase, it is such an exciting time to be open-eyed, mindful of the inter-connecting web, the mystery of how the inside life and outside life reflect each other. What a holy and sacred relationship, this creative dance! The women’s work reminds us that we get the choice to be mindful in how we show up to it.
This is the week of the year that your own growth–or in other words, what it is that is meaningful and real to you and wants to be, or maybe has just been manifested !!–and is prevalent and on display. Witness it! Take time to be reflective and remember you have a choice to do so. What life are you growing? How are you nurturing the fertility cycles of your own soul? If you are ovulating this week, the work you put in will really show itself in the world under the full moon of August–first Harvest Moon. By then, as the tide begins to change and the light of growth begins to wane, we will turn the discussion more towards how to nurture your bounty, harvest seeds from it, and plant them deep in the psyche in the unconscious darkness, to prepare for rest and nurturing in the year of growth to come….
Happy Full Growth this week, with love.
Sister leans over, says I smell rain.
As soon as it’s said, there it is, the dirt-metal scent. God California, so full of wimps, at least west of the 5. Everyone complaining about the heat. It is only 85, there is a breeze coming up under the trees which happens when you live beside the sea.
But then the wind brings the smell of rain and I feel my body rise. An ache, I crave. It’s not that I mind the heat. I actually love the slow thick drama of Maryland mug. It’s that it’s hard for the body to remember suddenly, to reach out in cellular grappling for what it expects.
And how what you expect gets all messy and confused with thinking about what you want.
In Southern California rain doesn’t come to break the heat.
The heat lightening doesn’t light up purple yellow netting behind the clouds. When the sea breeze blows it doesn’t smell like Old Bay. The coasts don’t dock fishermen boats.
I go out to the front lawn to watch the sun go down. The grass is so crunchy it scratches my back. I am grateful there is a spot behind the building with green lawn and a pine tree with a base that’s fat and round. I go there instead to breathe and feel the green. The sun is already behind the foothills and that California is what I do get, what at least I know I need if not want. Night after night of final nod to the light. Night after night of thanks.
There is so much a heart can hold, and so much it often forgets.
The body remembers though. If you let it, it reminds you, it will let you know.
I wanted to write today about living in the mystery. I thought after all the prescriptive here’s-a-translation-of-what-Mercury–could-mean, here’s-a-translation-of-what-Fire-could-mean, that reminding myself (and my readers!) the importance of simple living in the today might be right on time.
So, with that in mind, turns out I also get to write today about how soul-work: living from the heart and core of who we are instead of from the tapes in our head; leads to serendipity, or synchronicity. Synchronicity, according to the online site The Free Dictionary, means “coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related.”
Let me explain.
Yesterday I woke up at 11:42. 11:42!!!! In the morning! I had school this weekend, which means 25 hours or so of being in class, over three days. At the very end of the session on Sunday my friend Krissy mentioned how important sleep is for self-care. This is a basic needs thing, right? I love to stay up late and can’t think of a week that I have averaged more than 6 and a half hours of sleep a night.
So I slept late! Wayyy late and then didn’t even get out of bed til 1. Then, I lazed around and talked on the phone until 8pm!! It was awesome. But it did mean I had to choose to put this blog off til today. The reason I went with that choice is because yesterday, blogging felt the exact opposite of the great, cushy way my body and brain was unwinding after crawling out of bed to cuddle on the phone in my pj’s.
So today, I wake up thinking, I will blog about living in the day, moment to moment, how it gives us freedom to appreciate the Mystery of Life. That choosing to be present to whatever the day has in store empowers us with vitality, a “life on life’s terms” kind of exchange.
I sit up, roll over, light the candle on my bedside alter. Breathe and quiet my mind. Open my morning meditation. Here’s what I read, from Melody Beattie:
“Timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect. Today, I will trust and work with Divine Order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect.”
I’m so happy with this peaceful reminder that I check out her website when I log on to here today. Of course, what is the title of her site? Living in the Mystery.
Life is good when we let it be~good to me anyway for the simple, small, life-on-life’s terms exchanges such as this.
Yesterday was the New Moon. When the moon is dark she is not reflecting the sun. She is merely of her own, quiet, innate power. This power is lightless–no? The new moon is dark. It is the time that we check in, revel in the quiet, the solitude that comes from within. As one might do should she allow her body 13 hours of sleep….;)
It is the time the earth reminds us to revere solitude, quiet, reflection.
The New Moon marks the crossing of a tide. This means that as the moons moves in her cycle from dark, to full reflection of the sun, there is now a quickening happening. We really, really feel this one though because between now and when the moon goes full, the Spring Equinox will also happen.
A quickening feels like a stirring or speeding up, and it happens inside our bodies as much as it is happening in the sap in the trees, the chlorophyll in the leaves, and the little strings that will now start to poke out of seeds.
Also, the time change, which adds more light to our physical systems, will really focus this quickening energy so that we feel suddenly wide awake. This is a biological thing.
Just remember, Merc is still in retro, so this combination of energies could make you feel suddenly sort of fawn-like, tripping over your own feet.
Be slow, sweet with this waking.
Honor Time, the great Mystery of how we rhythm through our life~