What does it mean, Soul Work?
And how do we start?
This is maybe the great pressing drive of my life so far. Having a life of soul. The need for it was characterized early on by an unyeilding sense that there had to be more meaning to life than the daily grind. I was misanthropic as a teen because of this, and gratefully, it never went away. My understanding of my own restless, angsty sense has grown. Today it is what I have heard called “divine discontent.” A yearning for something more. It is just this sense that arises when my inner-life is calling for my attention. And when I surrender to it, there are always treasures upon treasures within. Surrendering to the inner yearning is always the first step of aligning the energies in my outer life to best call in meaning.
Of course, living with this type of unseen throttle inside makes me feel alienated at times. But it is also the singular reason that I can look back on my 35 years here and say with true satisfaction: not a single moment of this has been a waste. Part of this showing up to my self has taught me that the world we live in does it’s very best to keep the false-belief going that the realms of a person’s inner-life are not real or are a waste of time. It is our heritage, we are driven to produce and consume. This drive perpetuates the deadening of living life rooted from unseen happiness or values from within. It is set up to dismantle any true-power: power that comes from the individual’s soul.
Reversing this drive means being willing to return to the soul again and again, no matter how long has passed since the last time and no matter how much resistance is keeping you from acknowledging the reality that you have an aliveness “within”. This is why self-honesty is so important. Even self-help gurus today want us to believe that our inner-life is only valid if it is joyous or content or full of peace. THAT IS TOTAL SHIT and counter to the life of the soul. Soul speaks with the messages of instinct and emotion, and so long as your human than the those are going to span the range of every sensation possible. Slow down and allow your soul to breathe and come to life again, allow it to feel and speak in ways that are authentic to only you. Begin with exactly who and how you are right now. Self-honesty, how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you are sensing, what you are ignoring or resisting right this second is how and where to start. And recognizing that the soul is as changing as the tides, that it is NORMAL AND HUMAN to go through up/downs sometimes all day long is the first sacred soul message we can learn.
The reason self-honesty is the topic today is because Mercury is in retrograde. This retrograde, or review period, covers the entire winter season, or season of self-private or quiet or resting time. Season both out and in of the dark. Society programs us to escape bad feelings, which are actually a normal part of the human experience. We are in a review of all the inner-life substance that has risen-up for us since December right now! Mercury retrograde, more than ever, is a really important time to be easy on ourselves and as honest as possible with how we are feeling and what we are experiencing. Especially the one that happens right before spring, because that’s when our dark parts are right under the surface. Areas that we need to grow, areas that are challenging us to change how we currently relate, areas that need to be transformed, are all rising from our unconsciousness into consciousness right now. It could even show itself as a classic feeling of oh god here I am repeating the same old habit again.
This is the time to witness those things, with gentle self-honesty. Not a time for haste. Not a time for change. Let the action you take during a retrograde be about preparation: quiet tending of the ground from which you will grow this season. Allow rest, and practice self-honesty from day to day.
I for one can become really dutiful and self-sacrificing when I get too disciplined I mistake this for “practicing self-honesty” too! When the truth of honesty is that I am hurting myself with my rigidity. So for me during a retrograde I have to be especially light on myself, and factor in rest time with lots of time for easy-going play.
These are lessons I’ve learned in my own life by believing the soul life is real, and practicing this by meeting me, within.
More later this week! BEEEEE good to you~!