Reflection-Time! At the Waxing-Tide of Final Harvest

Well it’s times like these I feel so small and wild… I Canyon chill is a smile that comes in the place where there’s only room for secrets and strength, which is hope, just under the skin.  I do not like cold but October Canyon chill isn’t the cold of dreary end it is the…

In the clutch of the moon.

The way the crescent moon cups in the center feels deep down in the hollow of my heart like this.  Like yes for many days now I’ve been laid back in that very good place to hang out a while.  Laid back swing– –that’s home, the east, the fall-changing leaves, the peeps and screeks in…

*Vintage Dada* September. Drug kids in the cool white sand.

*This post originally appeared on September 13, 2009, titled My First Time, on The Impulse Itself (2008-2013) In September the tourists went home, it all sort of started when Felix came in early August which was also the time I kicked Kevin out of the house for the PCP. This left us, Suzette and me or…

It happened every place we ever lived. I hated cleaning.

This little hobbit house. I can count on one finger the amount of times I have cleaned it, like scrub cleaned the way I was taught when I was a girl. When I was clean, like sober  clean, almost two years, I had moved into my first place just for me, no roommates.  It was…

The words

I don’t even remember what the words feel like when they move through my body anymore. Instead, I feel the memory of them which is alive in me like some vine whose roots are cement.  The stopped growth is wagging in the almost not blowing air and can’t move at all in its base. This…

from Big Sur

Any drinker knows how the process works: the first day you get drunk is okay, the morning after means a big head but so you can kill that easy with a few more drinks and a meal, but if you pass up the meal and go on to another night’s drunk, and wake up to…

She moves on.

There are certain things I never, ever do. ~ I never write about him on here. Or, I never write about our love. ~ There’s no proof of us now. ~ Unless you know where to look.  Two busted computers, saved for the hard drives.  A tupperware box big as a bathtub, in a jewelry…

And this, this is Solstice

In the middle of the night we think daring thoughts, unless mind-dulled and fraught from darktime bedtime haunts we have learned to numb.  It was past 1 am at the Tavern and this place is basement punkrunk as HB or Long Beach ever was or could hope to be.  Randolph was on the drums and…

Dream of back then

In Newport I sleep in Beth’s basement which is actually her garage, which has no electric and no heat.  The sleeping bag is arctic and keeps me warm and the couch down there is the one I slept so well on the fall I came up from Humboldt for Thanksgiving.  So I look forward to…