There was a full orchestra in my head when I woke up. String sections of notes that part of me was still dreaming on, a dancy grin in my chest and my eyes still closed and me off out of my body somewhere, traipsing on song chords just out of reach and above my pillow. I snuggled in with my covers around me like a cape and it took a full five minutes to realize I was actually awake. It was one of those rare mornings that feel like the world is commencing, upon just opening your eyes, commencing and already leading you forth in precision with your secretive inside parts.
I came into my life that morning with the decision to write, to journal as I try to do at least two or three times a week. This is rare because it was a jump up and head downstairs Football Sunday. I had slept until almost 10! This is because my creative cycles have returned in full blast and there were two nights last week that I was up until 2 am writing. I am living, these days, wrought full with a delicious creative tension that can border madness but feels so damn alive.
I journaled. And through out the twists and turns on those pages, my emotions jumped and bundled and I did what I could to bear witness to my process. The music that woke me was still strumming in that place the body holds somewhere between muscle and bone, a hearty, full-blooded experience of waking and living. I never wake with songs in my head. I never wake with songs in my head and this one was so potent that I finally succumbed, and, humming out loud realized it was Wilco that had drummed my psyche so positively pressing and awake.
Jesus, etc. I found it on Youtube and played it and read the lyrics on a separate tab. And cried, a melancholic, crying for no other reason than the fact that my deep soul woke me with a clarity so special it gave me a theme song for the day.
Our love is all we have.
It fit the messages in my own journal in ways that I could never purposefully try and manifest. Leave it to life, the great mystery, to give that kind of wink…
The moon is most truly herself tomorrow night, meaning she does not reflect the light of the sun but sits still in her own myth, darkness. The new moon wanes to completion of dark around 8:30 pm Friday night. This marks the beginning of the final moon cycle of the harvest season. A cycle runs from new to full to new again, death/birth (at once) to growth then wholeness, then diminishing to death/birth once again. Sleeplessness is common right now, as the psyche–through song, instinct, dream, elation, worry, insight or fear, among many other tools, will communicate to you what lay at the edge of the passing of another year of growth…what in your own depths yearns to grow.
Our next new moon, in November, will be the New Year, known as Lunar Samhain.
Note the new year commences with darkness, the season of winter, rest and reflection. Death and birth, as one.