I drove home in the dark, the gauzy moon with its still bald yearning through all that haze. These women. I appreciated. Nor is from Thailand. She is studying psychology at OCC. Dani from Brasil, going through a sadness that has no name. Laura, from Romania, waiting on her green card. I stood at the courthouse, by her side when she married her husband last June.
We ate sushi and told our stories and smoked outside under the awning. I appreciated. It took four hours, but we left caught up. It was a long day. I finally got a hold of John sitting in beach traffic after family group at work. We talked a long time, you’re my positive male object I told him, not joking but laughing anyway. He helps. Back from a ten day sit he reminded, use your witness Kel, this too, this too, even this…I appreciated. Yesterday a handmade Valentine came in the mail from KRuss in Iowa, and Erika’s new book. I laughed with joy standing in the plant breath sun when I got the card. I cried soppy chest-tears when I opened the package with the book. I appreciated. Tonight, I drove the 405 from Costa Mesa, eager for the Canyon Road and to get home. I could see the words on the page, these, and the ones that will come. Zines. Our stories. What I came here to do. Grateful for Erin, awed by Mandy, I filled the silent pause between the words and haze and moon and me, between awareness and the tires on the road, with reverence: abiding sister love never dies. Love is good.
Appreciation Day seems to come when I need it the most, when it also seems the most challenging thing to do. It was a long one today.
But love is good.